Confidence Is a Universally Transferable Skill
When I first started practicing as a therapist, I didn’t struggle with clinical knowledge as much as I struggled with confidence.
Not the loud kind.
Not the performative kind.
The quiet, internal kind that whispers you belong here even when the room tells a different story.
I remember the first time I began receiving referrals for clients who were perceived as highly educated—lawyers, doctors, executives, professionals from backgrounds very different from my own. On paper, they were impressive. Accomplished. Articulate. Respected.
And internally, I caught myself shrinking.
I asked questions I’d never asked before:
- What if they think I’m not smart enough?
- What if they expect someone who looks, sounds, or lives differently than I do?
- What if my lived experience doesn’t “match” their resume?
What’s interesting is that nothing about my education, training, or competence had changed. The only thing that shifted was who I was sitting across from—and what I assumed that meant about my worth.
That was my first real lesson in how transferable confidence actually is—or isn’t.
Confidence Doesn’t Stay in Its Lane
Here’s what I’ve learned both personally and professionally:
Confidence doesn’t naturally transfer unless you practice moving it.
You can be confident in one area of your life and completely uncertain in another—not because you’re incapable, but because confidence is often context-dependent until you intentionally broaden it.
You might:
- Run a household with precision but doubt yourself in your career
- Lead teams at work but feel invisible in your marriage
- Be disciplined with fitness goals but hesitant to speak up emotionally
And the question becomes:
Why do we assume confidence only belongs where it was first earned?
The Room Will Always Change
Back then, I had two choices:
- Shrink to match my insecurity
- Or expand my confidence to meet the moment
What grounded me was this realization:
The same confidence that got me through graduate school…
The same discernment that helped me navigate hardship…
The same intuition that allows me to hold space for pain…
—all of that came with me into the room, whether I acknowledged it or not.
Confidence wasn’t something I needed to prove to my clients.
It was something I needed to claim for myself.
And once I did, everything shifted—not because I suddenly knew more, but because I trusted what I already carried.
Confidence Is a Skill You Can Reassign
Confidence isn’t fixed. It’s not personality-based. And it’s definitely not reserved for a certain tax bracket, education level, or title.
It’s a skill—and like any skill, it can be reassigned.
Ask yourself:
- Where do I already move with certainty?
- Where do I hesitate—even though I’m capable?
- What part of my confidence am I leaving behind when I enter certain spaces?
Sometimes confidence doesn’t disappear—it just hasn’t been invited into that area of your life yet.
Borrow It From Yourself
One practice I often encourage clients to try is this:
When you feel unsure, borrow confidence from a version of yourself that already exists.
Ask:
- When have I done hard things before?
- What evidence do I have that I can learn, adapt, and grow?
- What would it look like to show up whole instead of half here?
Confidence grows when we stop compartmentalizing ourselves.
Final Thought
Confidence isn’t about knowing everything.
It’s about trusting that you can handle what you don’t.
And once you realize it’s transferable—once you stop leaving it behind in rooms where you feel unfamiliar—you begin to move differently everywhere.
So I’ll leave you with this:
Where in your life are you fully qualified… but still playing small?
✨ Stay tuned, and as always, take what resonates and leave the rest.